Well, I just finished my two minute lunch that cost me a pound and nine pence. Not a bad deal considering the fact that I had to shell out 50 pence to empty my lemonade for 20 seconds last week, at Oxford Street. It was one strange occasion in life when I anticipated controlled fun times and instead got entangled in a mesh of events over which I had no control of. I and my friend Bhaumik went chick seeing to its haven called Oxford Street. The scientist that he is, he terms London as “The city of enchanting babes”. We had decided to do more of mouth opening and less of purse opening. We go there occasionally to exercise our Cheeks which were becoming chubbier by the day, thanks to the YMCA dining hall, where the average time one spends per meal is 43 minutes. It is indeed a good way to ameliorate the cheek bones because the wide varieties of reasons definitely leave you open mouthed in aweeeeeee. Our sixth sense soon realises the location and commands the jaws to be closed only to be opened again soon. But the long road that Oxford Street is, we are assured of a good workout at the end of it, the Marble arch.
Well now in the middle of WHSmith, I realised that I had something filled up. The feeling of discomfort was mounting that eventually led me to find a way out. I miss Delhi where most of the malls have nice green, blue toilets and you are free to use it. I miss Allahabad where you are free to use any wall, green, blue or yellow without an iota of expense (mental and monetary). I expected something better in London and went about looking for it. In the heat of the moment, I saw a fairly decent looking toilet and didn’t mind dropping the 50 pence that was the cost of entry into an Oxford street mall toilet. Inside the wash room were grey metal basins where you empty yourself in front of few other males who don’t bother to see. (Thankfully for them, another depressing scene).They were strangely playing George Michaels “careless whispers”,in the toilet which left a stupid loser-like feeling in me about the whole 50 pence thing. I miss India. Shucks. 50 pence man! 40 rupees for a loo visit? I couldn’t take it. When I was coming out of the toilet, there was this Italian looking dude, who was letting in a few girls through the exit door which when fiddled with can easily let you into the washroom. Oh my god, why didn’t I get this idea? Anyways what else could be done? In retrospect, what were my other options? May be behind the roadside shop keeper between Swarovski and Next could have been a better option? What if I was caught? Or what if I was found and chased and humiliated at the middle of my act. Leave it. 50 pence well spent. Just when I was concluding, bhaumik coolly shows me the McDonalds in the mall, saying that it could have been another option. Well! I always hated science because scientists are unsmart people. He had seen it before, but decided that I would not like to use an unpaid public toilet. Huh! Am I some ******* or something? Yes I am.
My lunch today was the three bean slice from Sainsbury’s. It reminds me of kachodi and sabzi that we used to have in Allahabad. I used to love it when we missed breakfast in the hostel and walked down to Rampal hi dukhan to have kachodi and cholle. We had about 6, 7 each and then wash it down with 2, 3 cups of hot special chai. The rounded off bill comes up to about 12-15 rupees.(15 pence). This made in Great Britain three bean slice has a kachodi like covering and some rajma and something dripping with some kind of puree. I love it for it being hot and bringing me pleasant memories. Thinking of food in Allahabad, I cant forget the other superstars, mathin bhai, Chungi ke khan chacha, dhandi ke dhaba and the others. But this small little piece of three bean slice offers me a namesake meal plus reduced craving(supposedly) through till dinner. I am seriously overweight now and got pissed off recently when a terrible rascal said it was showing in my face nowadays, although he was the rotten dickhead who looks like a sucked banana retrieved from a corporation(Do they have one??) ditch in downtown Allahabad.(whatever). So, here is praying that my new favourite lunch meal will help me reduce a bit of weight and (((Oh what the fuck, I have got my exams stacked up in May and its 8 th of April, and what fucking rights do I have to sit down and pen down a blog))).Bye.