Tuesday, April 28, 2009

A mind of his own. (Part 2)



It was a Sunday evening in London at the Indian student Hostel,  Fitzroy Square.

The smell of the biryani was successful in equal measure to create interest and disinterest on the residents depending largely  the length of their stays at the place. Jay a veteran at the place quickly finished his supper and meandered in the dining hall before getting back to the library to carry on with his reading. The dining place was full of tired Indians enjoying their supper at the end of their weekends.


‘It will be back to the grind tomorrow’, Jay thought.

He was 26 and was in the final stages of his PhD. He was a  paragon researcher who researched not just science but life in general, things in life that interested him, which annoyed him and intrigued him. His persona had an eccentric charm with which  he puzzled people. He remained aloof yet proved to be mentally present amidst his friends.

There was a certitude of calm about him that grew within him as he discovered life’s penchance to smother the questions that typically arose in his inquisitive mind. He had learnt to be patient and understood that it may take a long time before he finds answers to some of his questions. This quality along with his keen eye for detail and razor sharp memory for facts made him a formidable researcher.

At , a lady walked into the library pushing open the sturdy door. Jay looked up at the new entrant into the otherwise empty library and religiously got back to his books for he had loads to read that night. She looked good, he thought, although he saw her only from the back. Sometime later in a moment of promiscuity he stole a look at the newcomers face. Something hit him hard.

She was the one. He blinked to see if what he saw was real. It sunk in when she stared back, in utter surprise.

She smiled.

A smile that honestly suggested surprise, answered longing and many more things. A natural smile that had always managed to usurp a man’s heart: Jay’s heart.

He was frozen and numb, his existence momentarily cut off from the present and moving back to eons away. He got up and went towards her and was held back, speechless. Her eyes were glistening from the dim dark corner where she was seated. The fan turned around to flutter her hair.

 She looked down at the books, undergoing a feeling that she had never felt before. He said, ‘Hi’. She continued looking down at the books and he saw tears falling down to the carpet. He gained his composure and went closer. She gathered herself and got up and a warm hug happened.

She spoke now. ‘How are you?”.” I am alright. Hmm. How about you?” ‘. Not too bad’, she said and smiled with those tears still perching on her eyes. Jay was pulverised and defeated but he probably didn’t bother realise it.


They just stood there all alone in the library in silence interspersed with vocal outbreaks of disbelief. He asked her if she would like to come out of the library and they walked down to the Costa coffee bar and sat down, still silent. The after shower chill in London that night made them shiver and they ordered cappucinos.

After sometime, she asked him about his life and what he is doing in
London. She then said that she is a radiologist now and has come to London to appear for the Fellowship of the Royal College of Radiologists. She has been married for the part 4 years to another radiologist called Rahul. Jay nodded blankly not suggesting anything.

He was still in shock and was surprised by Keerthi’s composure. She is still the same he thought.


Conversation then flowed. They touched Research, radiology, weather, economy, careers, travel, religion and spirituality. When the coffee shop closed at , they proceeded to walk down Euston Road towards St. Pancras. They soon chatted with comfort and ease as if they have never known each other and were meeting for the first time.

Someone rightly said that divine love defied human wisdom. Their memories had failed them both in an unprecedented way. They were soon becoming the same old teenagers that last knew each other as.

At when they decided to get back to the YMCA, the sleepy receptionist muttered anger and let them in. She giggled in the lift about his student like demeanour and the receptionsist's mallu accent. They were now able to see each other well into their eyes.

They said their good nights.

Down in his bed, he was thinking about life’s pleasant and not-so-pleasant twists and God’s revelry in playing around with his creations. He wasn’t sure what he felt for Keerthi. In her bed, Keerthi was in love with Jay all over again. She was heartened to see his maturity and thought that the changes in his personality were all positive. She was happy for him. She was happy that her prayers for him have all been answered. At this moment she started sobbing.

She had lost hope in human existence. She remembered the time when her parents went about lecturing to her about Jay’s inefficiency in the important things of life. She hated her parents for telling her that these infatuations will keep coming and that mature and successful  people should have the courage and heart to get over it and master their own lives. She had listened to them like a good daughter and went on to master her life. She went to the best medical school in the country and passed with honours. She had met many good men who were serious with the most important things of their lives. They liked her, loved here, and worshipped her. After the initial outward highs and inward satisfaction, they all failed. Time turned her into a soul searching animal. She devoured men physically and in their minds, but they failed to satiate her. The most important things in life were not attracting her. The confidence that education brought with itself was turning her to rebel against the world.

After her MBBS, she went to Delhi University to study her MD in radiology. It was then that her dad suffered a massive heart attack. During those days, Keerthi had felt the need for support, the undefined support.

The world around her was looking false, cruel and full of malaise. During her hours of introspection and suspended worldly existence, she thought of Jay and what she had done to him. She was filled with remorse and guilt. She thought that her present state was God’s mockery of a wily female who until then had mocked people in her life.
She tried to ask her friends if they knew about Jay. They kept answering coldly and in the negative. She had become an example of how girls didn’t want to be after they saw what Jay went through in the time subsequent to school.

Keerthi got married to Rahul, another radiologist from her own caste in Delhi much to the happiness of her parents. He loved her and doted as much as anyone wanted but her fight with herself and her addiction to move away from the world was mounting. She wasn’t happy with herself and tried yoga, music and dance to get her life back to track. After much attempt, she decided that her life will be like this until eternity. She had become spiritual and religious and was spending a lot of her time in communion with her Gods.

Jay, in his search for the magic that he wanted to experience had often let his imagination wander by imagining himself walking with a fairy from heaven. His subconscious was unintentionally fixed onto Keerthi and all that he saw now was an extension to the original, the skewed ones, trying to make it like the original, those that will never be.

Now that the real one was beside him in London, all he wanted to do was to walk. He wanted to keep walking. The Squares, the parks, and the subways. He showed her around London, all the beautiful places and the trivial included. He was in heaven or so it seemed.

During one of the walks he thought to himself “You are the one that I kept looking here. Where were you? You belong here. You belong here near me. You ought to stay where I am and flower my world into an inflorescence of joys.” She simply thought “Thank you God”. She knew she would break down when she wishes to ask God if this blissful existence would go on forever. She kept that prayer for later.

In their trips to Oxford Street, Camden and Shepherd’s bush, Keerthi was always on a look out for a gift to Jay. She couldn’t find any. She couldn’t think of anything that will enable her Jay to remember her all his life. She looked through clothes, books, accessories, electronics, artwork and many other memorabilia. She even looked heavenwards.

Keerthi was a picture of bliss when she was with Jay. Jay stood back and looked at her with romantic bleariness. She was beautiful he thought. He liked her simplicity of character and the now newly powerful eyes. They radiated beauty to him. Her eyes suggested clarity and understanding to him. To herself, her own eyes were conveying a plea for forgiveness, a readiness for repentance, grief and longing.

On the night before Keerthi’s scheduled departure, gloom started setting in as both of them realised what had been happening in their lives. She had completely forgotten about her exam which was what brought her to London. They laughed about it when Jay reminded about it to her in the balcony. They were a picture of love on that night under the BT tower, watching the moon and the faraway London eye. The breeze was casting its effect across London suggesting that it is past and the most perfect setting for Lord Aphrodite to come out strolling. Jay looked into Keerthi’s eyes. When she noticed this, she held his arms tighter than earlier and brewing up some heat. He couldn’t take his eyes off her and he blew again, the same ritual which he did with her to his heart’s content as a teenager. They came closer looking at each other in the balcony of the fourth floor, room no: 407, glorifying the dark hour of London with the moon as a witness. They kissed. After a minute, she decided to gift him the unfound gift that she was looking for.

Together they were Adam and Eve, Manu and Shradha. They generated the most powerful energy of the world when they mated. He approached her with all sincerity in his needs to which she obliged kindly to get her world back in magnanimity. She kissed him like a child that she had left so cruelly to get lost in the worldly pandemonium.

They were as full as the moon and identifying the creator’s genius in creating the interdependent sexes. He realised the reason for his creation and spontaneously did it in his usual way, slow and curious. She gave it all that she had and yearned to give more in penitence for all that she did to him. She laid back and saw the cloud battered London sky and breathed fresh meaningful air. The waves that they generated were warming up the room forcing Jay to open the window.

Suddenly Jay stopped and slid down from the single bed onto the floor. He was sweating and looked pale. She asked him if he was okay to which Jay was expressionless. Keerthi was puzzled but held back from further talking. Jay went out to the balcony and lit a cigarette. After a few moments Keerthi called out to him. “I cannot do this with you after what you did to me. I am sorry” he replied.

Keerthi realised the rest and started to sob. She was now strong enough to take this she thought. Yet she laid there crying feeling the pain, staring at the sky now suddenly dark and potraying anger, deceit and meaningless love. All her past flew back instantly to her and embraced her with unfailing affliction. Amidst her uncontrollable sobs and feeling of sourly disgraced bliss, she dressed herself and left to her room.

The next morning Jay went to Keerthi’s room, picked her already packed bags and accompanied her to Heathrow. They didn’t speak a word till she departed at terminal 5. They looked into each other’s eyes momentarily and hugged.

Then she left.

Jay walked down to Myrtle avenue grass area outside terminal 5, his favourite haunt for plane spotting. At when the Air India A112 took off to New Delhi, Keerthi was feeling drained with fullness. She had slept well the previous night. Although the night began with her Jay turning her down in love, her thoughts later were happy as she realised that life had come a full circle with her. She felt lighter and stronger than ever before.

As the flight swayed its way between the clouds above London city to position itself eastwards to New Delhi, Keerthi on the window seat C52 glanced out and thought of Jay, “He has a mind of his own”.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Ruminations: Sometime, Somewhere...

I am not a natural introvert. I have been forced by my existense to exercise extreme caution against VANITY

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

The eagle.


I am like the eagle,
That flies high.
Up above the clouds array,
I sometime stoop low to my roots for prey,
To quench my desire and many other evil,
Like I should be, always, like an eagle.

Oh God, my maker and guardian!
Give me strength and carry me on,
Horizon after horizon in your glory shall I fly on.
Let me keep flying high and not low for prey,
So that in front of nothing other than you, I pray
Shall I bow on my way.

Jayant Judilson.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Mind of her own ! (Part I)




They had first met in class sixth at DTEA Mandir Marg, and after overcoming the initial repellent tenacity and sexual differences caused by culture, proceeded to become thick friends. They had bloomed together, she first and him later. He is the innocent one of the two and she was smarter. He was naive and brash while she was mature. He was poor and directionless in academics whereas she remained a hardworking topper. He was a boy and she was a woman. He was a lame rogue and she was the school’s sweetheart, but between them they were the best of friends.

Boys fell over in a heap when she smiled. They worked hard for her attention. When they failed they spat venoms of boyhood jealousy on Joe, Keerthi’s object of affection. They loved hanging out together and delighted on each other’s lunch boxes. They were possessive about each other and were upset when the other one was punished in school. She helped him in academics and he bought her favourite ice creams.

She always wanted to be a doctor. She said she dreamt of curing people and relieving people of their distress. Her parents supported her completely and motivated her towards achieving it. He wanted to be many things. A pilot, a lawyer, a cricketer, a tennis player, and at one point a porn star and later a porn movie director.

It was in class eleven that they decided to call it love. They both felt the peer pressure to have a boyfriend and a girlfriend. After he expressed his fancy for a few girls, she thought it was best for them to be a couple. Joe was happy and confused; it was all new for him. He trusted his best friend and went on. In love, she showed him the most beautiful things that he ever wanted to see. She thought she was madly in love with him. She also made him think that he was madly in love with her. He was then truly in love with Keerthi.

Steadily in love and companionship, Keerthi inculcated in Joe a desire to choose medicine as a career. He decided to become a Doctor. He had never been a diligent student all his life. This sudden introduction to hard work and commitment in love was taking a toll on him but he was enjoying it. The sudden rise of focus and a clear aim in life thrilled him. Alas, Joe’s results were mediocre. His efforts weren’t bearing fruit and this distressed him. He was just not good enough to hit the MBBS grade. That didn’t stop him from dreaming about going to his favourite medical school along with Keerthi.

The exams and the exhaustive coaching meant very little time together for both of them. She was perfectly engrossed in it whereas he was growing into a man and exploring it. He was feeling the need, the desire for his completion, the closeness, the subtlety, the security, the poise and he felt the urge more and more by each passing day.

In their moments of closeness as a man and a woman, Joe pleasured in blowing away Keerthi’s falling locks off her face. He pleased himself when she gave out a full smile, full of happiness, adorned by her sensuous lips. He held her palm in his and got lost in dream land during the lectures. On one occasion he nodded off into the shoulders of another girl seated next to him only to be awakened by Keerthi’s laughter. He loved it. He loved to see her laugh. Those made him feel manly. She was a figurine full of focus and concentration during the lectures.

Towards the end of class twelve, Keerthi was moving away from Joe. Joe was puzzled by Keerthi’s behaviour. Joe’s poor results and apathy from Keerthi pushed him further down in his academic pursuit. He fared poorly in the boards and failed the medical entrance examinations. Keerthi topped the school and secured a seat at Lady Harding medical college. She remained the star that she was at school and everyone was proud of her. Joe was proud too. Joe gifted her with a stethoscope.

Joe felt that something was wrong. He deciphered that there was more than exam stress and career competition in percolation between him and Keerthi. All this while, his growth as a man had multiplied manifold and he was missing Keerthi. He desired her all the more as she moved away from him. His male friends’ company was driving him more and more towards losing his moral uprightness and he was inclined to do it with Keerthi. He resorted to dreaming about her to forget about the academic muck that he was breathing in.

One evening after the showers had given Delhi a reason to celebrate; Joe met Keerthi in a common friends place. The chilly wind blowing across the green belt had left Joe on a high during his drive down to Karol Bagh. Keerthi looked happy and beautiful. The dark circles had disappeared and the magic in her face was back, alive, kicking and dripping. Jay’s mind was happy to look at her and he went on looking at her. They strolled down together with the common friend to have chai and pakora at a road side stall.

Back at the friend’s place Joe was itching to get closer to Keerthi. It had been ages since their bodies have touched one another. He wanted to experience it fully now. Although Keerthi’s indifferent behaviour angered him, her presence in his vicinity annihilated every iota of negativity that his mind ever mustered to brew. He was crazily in love.

In a moment of solitude Joe went near Keerthi and blew her hair apart. She gave him a sour smile. Joe knew instantly that it was not the Keerthi that he loved. He felt her breathing and went closer to her lips. She realised the situation and sternly said, “No Joe, Please stay away.” In his truly mad mind, Keerthi was all his. He went ahead and kissed her lips. She pushed him back and promptly shouted for help.

Joe fell back on the ground. He was blank and numb. All he could see was darkness as he lay there, devoured, on the floor. He felt some hard muscle power as he was bashed out of the house. He lay there on the door and then the gate, speechless and expressionless. He was staring at the impossible and rolling on the black floors of love, hatred, anger and deception.

It took him more than a year to recuperate partly from this emotional mishap. He then went ahead to study biotechnology at a faraway land. He was trying his best to clobber the anger that he felt for her. In his moments of weakness and disgrace, he wrote to her seeking an explanation for her behaviour and the history that they had in union. He didn’t get a reply. He didn’t want to knock at her residence because her parents had threatened to file a case against him for molesting their daughter.

Joe thought on. He wondered about the reasons that probably led Keerthi to behave like that. He wondered,'Was she in love?', 'Was the whole episode of love and affection a farce?', 'Can human beings be trusted?', 'Was she hiding something from me?', 'Were her parents behind all this?'. He hated human beings. He hated her. He felt angered by his own innocence and meekness. He was frustrated by her memories that haunted him. He was furious at the negative thoughts that pulled his confidence down. Eventually, Joe was healed by time and he moved on. He decided to build his life anew and enjoy every moment of it.

One day, lying on his bed in his hostel room, a thought crossed Joe’s mind. “She has a mind of her own”.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Sab maya hai !!

Joe – My friend

One fine night while we were having supper at Spicy bite, civil lines, I was just reminding Joe about water stoppage in OH after 10pm. He has had a history of over-eating and then running towards the woods behind CLT department with a mineral water bottle in hand to leave his impression at the CET. The gastronomic spread lying in front of him forced him to forget the number of times I have ran to Mahewa to get you mineral water. I had an account with Indian electricals for Joe, 'aqua fina' account. Joe settled it at the final year end paying 540 Rs. Joe used to target CET for leaving his impression cos(u all mite know): CET boys often misbehaved with CBT girls and one of them was close to Joe's heart. Joe had also confided with me that he has recurring nightmares of his **** being stung by vipers since his childhood. So he always chose a open area just like the one around CET, where there are no bushes and trees thereby avoiding snakes and getting some good air and views(GH). He once told me he saw a girl doing a window dance in the third floor of GH.

I remember one day there was no electricity and Joe wanted to go. He was scared of darkness. We didn’t have a torch. So, Joe borrowed Jesse bhaiyya’s bike and Nelson took him to CET and Nelson showed him light with the headlamp and Joe spent 30 minutes with his PSP playing Harry Potter and leaving his impressions for CET. Nelson was checking out to see if any girl was doing window dance that night in GH. At last Nelson got bored and Bikes battery was weak too, So, Nelson and Joe decided to come back to hostel.
CET- College of Engineering & Technology
CBT-College of Biotechnology
GH- girls hostel

How Joe Chellsundar ate Chicken, got laid and went to CET,

The westerly winds were blowing across the yamuna and the AAIDU campus. It was a chilly spring night, just past midnight when Pandeyjee (Eternal guardian) was riding his bicycle across the GH towards the CET. It was just another day at work for this security guard who has been in a state of constant bedazzlement for the past one and a half decade of his life, the reason his pretty wife Chandni( Chandni ben). She was his dream come true and he lived under her love like a mouse caught in a trap. He was rehearsing in his mind the things that he would do tonight with her when he gets home. In his moments of sensual dawdling, he suddenly saw a beam of light across the sky and an accompanying sound. The bedazzled man that he was, he stopped to listen carefully and analyse. Then he saw it. A creature, 2 feet tall which looked like a monkey, had white small ears and the rest of the body was black. It was shaking at a constant rate and humming: Harree Ram, Harre Ram..... The beam of light and this constant moving and chanting convinced Pandeyjee that it was a Ram bhakt that had come down from heaven. He was delirious. The excitement caused him to tremble and he could not hold his cycle properly. He pushed the cycle and lathi aside and ran for his life shouting all the way, harree rammmm, harrreee ramm.
It was Joe doing his thing at 12:30 that night after eating all the chicken earlier. He was playing Harry Potter and the half blood prince in his PS where some one was shouting "Harrrrrryyyyy run, Harrryyyyyy run". Joe was wearing a black cap and was listening to my ipod using white earplugs, so the white ears. He was listening to Metallica, so the impossible head banging in a squatted position. The beam of light was from Jesse bhaiyya's bike headlamp and an output of Nelson's magnanimous act of friendship.

Lord Voldemort


Joe is a very nice human being. Joe Chellsundar is a great fan of Adolf Hitler and Lord Voldemort. They are his idols. Uttar Pradesss is a forest and any news will spread like forest fire. The news of the Godly man also spread like a raging fire and reached far and wide including the heights of the Himalayas. Apparently UP ka cellone network exists everywhere. People started flocking the campus from the next morniong. They were touching and praying to every possible object they could lay their hands upon. They were also trying to pull out memorablia from the campus so that it can be carried to their villages and worshipped there. One guy even tried to pull away a female student's chunni in front of the Co-operative store. He apparently thought she was Goddess Parvathi only to be rudely awakened by local moral police, my respected seniors, Ali Sher and Pinku mahewa. The Gujjus even tried to cash in on this occasion by setting up a chai and samosa stall. The Police cordoned off the location where the Godly creature was sighted allowing only VIPs to go and sight the material that the creature left. The The Centre for cell and molecular Biology, Hyderbad arrived to take the sample that was left over by the heavenly creature that smelt like human excretory matter. The head scientist suspected the authenticity of the sample and asked the Police to check Panjeyjeee's mental stability. But an eager activist of the saffron brigade, slapped him and said "chup chaap apna kaam karo bhai saab, dhanye hogi aapki". People started pouring in from different parts of the world. They came from as far as Tamil Nadu, Kasmir and even London. The malayalee students were walking around the campus wearing mundus so that malayalee pilgrims can be lured and mugged for coconut oil and beaf pickle. The hostel area was cordoned off and special security given for students. But the crowd could not be managed and students were asked to pack up and leave. We four (Me, Joe, King and Nel) stayed on with the Pandians and watched all the fun. All the major political leaders had come down to Allahabad and holding rallies to claim hamara Uttar Prades as the land of the Lords. Yes, indeed Uttar Prades is the land of the Lords. Lord Voldemort. We four of us were smirking all the way through the past 3 days. It was all very very funny for the four of us who knew the real Godly man, Mr. Joe Chellasundar

Mayhem

Mayhem in the holy commotion, the turn of events was getting worse. “Holy Shit!” Everyone exclaimed. The nanga (N. Baba) and nangi babas (Ni. Baba) were coming from the Himalayas. An odd one started trickling in and soon their number increased and they were flooding in. The state government panicked and banned the entry of the civilian pilgrims into the campus. Only the students were allowed to go to the hostels. The newly holy place looked like a nudist camp with police men and an odd student who was refusing to leave for home citing the approaching exams as a reason. They were freely roaming in the campus along with the babas and least bothered about exams. After a breakfast of meetha bun makhan at khan chacha, chungi, I took a walk around the campus to see what my friends were up to.
Johnny was a well known as an expert in both physical and metaphysical principles. He and his brother apostle Paul were praying very hard to God in his room for the N. babas to go back and for peace to return o the campus. There was a belief in AAIDU that the intelligent students were always rebels of some sort. Most intelligent women dated younger men and intelligent men dated older women. Jalal Burder, the most intelligent MBA I have ever seen was found checking out the Ni. Babas (Most of them in their 60s). The king of perverts was pretending to help the babas by hanging out with them near the basket ball court. Avik banerjee was seen asking a baba near CBT for his tissue sample, may be a piece of hair, so that he can analyse genetic makeup of their creed. Arnab Lahiri was busy in a discussion on philosophy and life after death with another baba and Saurabh Choudary was deeply delved in photography. The baba replied to Avik, “Tum bache mere **** ***** *** bhi nahi ukad sakte”. This answer startled the Bengali brigade. They walked away towards DT. Sayantan and Ashwin were checking out the N. babas especially Sayantan with utmost interest. Ashwin was vacillating either way not sure of his preferences. Sayantan moments of masculine disgrace was interrupted by the stopping of the train Jhelum Express. Tens of babas jumped out of the train as they had specially requested the engine driver to stop in the holy land.
In the hostel Pumit was munching Kurkure and studying. When I asked him if he’d like to join me for a walk in the campus he said,” G*** M*** B****, GRE keliye sirf 14 mahine baaki hain, tum jao. Mujhe padne do” In the neighbouring room, Bashish was as usual wearing his underwear on top of his pyjama and said on the phone.” Shweetu, don’t worry. (Super)man hoon na”. Bashish ‘s roommate Aghori (Alok Tanu Halder) was lying on his bed wearing just his favourite piece of red cloth. He had applied some mehndi on his hair and multani mitti on his face. Sayantan in an attempt to befriend a baba initiated a conversation by saying that he had a nanga friend in the hostel. The N.baba in an attempt to take this wannabe baba under his aegis decided to meet him. He called out to his mates and set out to go t to the NH from CET. Ashwin was a little late in ringing Halder up and tell him about Sayantan’s stupidity. Aghori sprung to his feet when he heard the babas knocks on his door. He was in splits and didn’t have the time to dress up. He picked up his purse and the dancing Shiva statue (a gift to Moni) and ran out through the back door and outside on a journey to his hometown Kolkata. Bashish helped him by reminding him to wear his underwear preventing a major catastrophe. When he reached the love lane, the fatherly Cutting Uncle saw him running half nude, mehndi on hair and multani mitti on face and asked if he was okay. Aghori quickly perched on the Red Karisma’s pillion and asked uncle to drop him at the station. Uncle turned the bike and raced away.
Moments after this Vivek Khare comes in his enticer. What we saw shocked us. In his pillion was a Ni. Baba in all her gargantuan elitism, affectionately cuddling him from the back. Khare with a smile said, “Hey bro! I found her. She is the one. She is witty, wild and wet. All the ‘W’s that I wanted. I am so happy yar!” I gave a wry smile. “The bloody ‘W’hore” muttered a female friend of mine who fancied Vivek. Just then a two wheeler whizzed past me and I had precariously missed a mishap. I turned back to see Kingsly showing some stunts in Pandian Uncle’s white scooty. I gave him a glare and turned back to see Kharag Singh from Kharagpur selling saw dust in the name of drugs to the babas. I thought to myself, old habits die hard.
Temperature was rising in Joe’s mind. He was feeling the guilt consciousness. He was cursing himself for eating the two plates of chicken at Spicy bite on that fateful night. Nelson and his greatness decided to treat Joe to make him feel better. They together then went to Kajal cinema in Rambagh to watch ‘Kama Mia’, an adult flick. Joe later cribbed about Nelson’s frugality since Nel made him the movie sitting on the floor on a ticket that was seven rupees( second cheapest).

Sab maya hai.


The menace of the babas was mounting. The university officials were trying their best to cast away the demons that had landed on the campus. There were special prayers on Yeshu darbar and it was compulsory for all Christian students. A yellow bus full of prisoner girls was also sent. Prasad Sir (Chimpu, biochemistry) was fasting for three days on the trot and he was carried away to Jeeva Jyothi hospital in GH ambulance. The VC was thinking about the future of his red family if the Babas adopted the campus citing religious reasons. The intelligent strategist that he is, he decided to attack the problem with two approaches. The glamour factor and fear factor.
The news was sent out to the students to prepare an attack on these lines. Glamour factor: Apsara dhokla, Bibek TK and friends came in with a performance of ‘Crazy kiya re’, ‘dhoom’ and ‘Babuji’. Strangely, this turned off the babas as they fell silent and were looking restless. An odd baba was even trying to get his things together preparing to leave. Kamna Dubey, AAIDU’s favourite lady spoiled this mission by making a special appearance. The babas started moving to the beats of the song once KD took centerstage. Thje whole place including the staff and Pandey baba was dancing to ‘Babujee’. Mission failed. Sushant Gadroo tried to lure them out with his acrobatic break dancing. The Ni. Babas liked it so much that they groped him in uncomfortable places forcing him to flee in his LML freedom. Bashish , his body guard followed him in his Rajdoot. They later proceeded to the police station and filed an FIR for molestation and causing mental and physical agony. An ardent female admirer of Sushant set about to stage a ‘fast until death’ protest demanding the state government to provide more security to men. ‘Indian Idol’ Akansha Singh was roped in to use her singing talents to charm these babas just like Pied piper. She was accompanied by Shareif Zechariah on guitar and Kamna dubey on drums which she managed to play with a m metal chair. She started to sing her favourite song ‘yaaron’ and went on singing for 20 minutes repeating the chorus and fully confident of her expertise. The babas liked the monotony of her singing and went into deep trance. Some dosed off. The Akansha move had backfired.
Then the University authorities decided to use the ‘Fear factor’. They made Kingsly and Rahul Chopra dress up like lions and do wheelies in their respective bikes in the stretch of road between Non-formal and CET. During the display of extreme bravado and innovation, Kingsly’s white scooty crashed into Choprs’s pulsar sending both the lions crashing to the ground. The ambulance was called. Brij Yadi, the power baton, son of the MLC of Jaunpur and Nephew of Mullis Yadi , the CM of UP was expected to possess shrewd conversational skills and political acumen. He was sent to have a round of talks with the Babas and ask them to leave. The nervous Brij asked for me to accompany him. I said going alone would potray his strength and pr project him as a leader. He half heartedly went and peed on his pants half way. Sherinder Bahamen Pal came around and fired two shots in the air. That made no difference. He then went about staring at the private parts of many babas. He noticed but went back unnoticed.
A brilliant idea stuck my mind. I realised only something ugly and disturbing can chase these babas away. I immediately thought of Maya Singh, my best friend. She was as ugly as a train to Bihar. Strangely there were so many guys who fancied her and she was the numero uno alpha female of our campus. My instincts said that this idea will work. I spoke to the VC in a highly confidential conclave and obtained permission to carry out my trick. I dialled Maya’s high secret reliance mobile number and asked her to come and meet me to take a casual walk. When she came down, as usual I felt that many eyes were looking at us. Suddenly one guy shouted,” Sir, don’t mess with my maal”. I was stunned by a junior’s belligerent affection and slapped him tight and said “ Saale maal bolta hai, ab sorry bol”. He said, “Sir aap mere maal pe kade ho.” I turned around to see that we were standing in the middle of his makeshift shopping centre. “Oh yeh mall hai Patel, sorry yar”. I picked up an appy fizz and hide and seek biscuits from his mall and went to the CET area with Maya. The babas were stunned. Their eyes were shrinking in agony. The wind started blowing heavily as we strolled down and the mud was rising up in the air suggesting an impending cyclone. The started chanting their mantras but in vain as the wind started blowing harder. I understood all these natural phenomenon as the clash of the three kingdoms of earth. The good, bad and the ugly. The babas soon packed up their belongings and started leaving the campus. Special trains were organised by railway ministry to carry them back to Himalayas.
Peace was finally returing to the AAIDU campus. Residents of the campus were not sure what possessed the campus for the last one week. Joe was very proud of m me and thanked me profusely. He was relieved that the whole fiasco is over and done with and now he can get back to spicy bite and eat more chicken. He has resolved never to go near CET again for his midnight missions and choose the orchard instead. The whole campus was happy as a major disaster of turning a University into a religious place of worship was averted. The VC secretly called me to thank me and gave me a scholarship. Rahul Gandhi offered me a ticket in Congress youth wing. I said to myself, “Sab Maya hai” .

Thankful ruminations !

Thank you Atreyi for being my Public relations manager. I hereby promise to write to the best of my truthful abilities.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Ruminations: sometime, somewhere.


The eternal kingdom of God is theirs forever there who yearn most for it now and here.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Ruminations: sometime, somewhere.


The most creative thing that I can do in a day is to PRAY to God.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Ruminations: Sometime, Somewhere



Human Beings are almost like dogs except that dogs are FAITHFUL.