Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Yet another sleepless night!





- When the world seemed too hard to conquer and there was nothing left for me.
- When I knew that I am my own enemy and yet I did not have the will power and motivation to fight it.
- When I realised the enormity of my mind and its capitulations and yet looked helplessly at the time that passed by.
- When I had an awestruck expression on my face at life’s endless questions and challenges: simple yet ambiguous, small yet compound.
- When I felt like I am my own and the whole world, seen and unseen, was conspiring to see my back.
- When some of the dark, unwelcome clouds refuse to cease shrouding me and pass by me leaving me clothed in cold despair.
- When my actions mocked at my dreams and the rest of the world only cared to enjoy this humiliation and disgrace.
- When I did not remember my self, I lost my mind including the talents associated therewith and the whole world accepted my distorted self as my self.
- When mediocre mortals had to stoop down to decide the way I was and I had learnt to accept them as life’s lessons.
-
When I knew that I could trust God yet had self doubt and overpowering fear.
- When I harboured the pain of hosting the Big fight between God and Satan within my body and mind.
- When I felt helpless although I knew that my duty at that situation was to take God’s wonderful side, remember his promise and rest in peace.

PS: This will pass too.

19 comments:

em said...

wonderful :) thanks for a reminder :)

le embrouille blogueur said...

wow .... a little too deep for me ... that does not mean I will stop visiting ... brilliant !!

Ria said...

Thanks a lot for reminding!!tht was nicely put. :)

Mayz said...

Insomnia so well captured...

d fleetin thots of a sleepless night...brilliant dude

The abstract scientist said...

Hi EM,
You are always welcome..

The abstract scientist said...

Hi LEB,
Thank you for your comment.

The abstract scientist said...

Hi Ria,
Thanks.
Hi Mayz,
Thanks dude. Keep reading. Cheers

Rane (The Orchid with All Shades Pink) said...

oh my god! that literally took me to the mind of someone sleepless..and a lot of it looked like my own thougts.. wonderfuly captured..

The abstract scientist said...

Thank you Rane. That was flattering.

Lesllie Tripaathhy said...

vow...spiritual enlightenment

Lesllie Tripaathhy said...

those thoughts had a cool impact...

they lingered around..thruout the day...

i had to come by and say..vow..

how very well..yu put them,Abstract Scientist..

God bless yu

ZB said...

nice, lovely reflections. You know its erudite to take a break and reflect. One would be amazed at the level of alienation one seem to be with oneself. To know self is truely a great sign. Wonderful post.:)

Chriz said...

the flesh and the spirit fights big time.. you know God helps those who hold on to him :)


i know u know that secret

The abstract scientist said...

Hey Leslie,
Thanks for those kind words. Cheers.

The abstract scientist said...

Hey ZB, thanks for understanding it properly man.

The abstract scientist said...

Hey Chris, yes, you are right. I know it.

Cinderella. said...

You knw thi sis smoething I firmly believe in and always keep telin myself.

"This too shall pass" !

Nothing lasts forever, good thing is that includes bad times as well, which we chose to ignore most times.

Nice upbeat post !

:)

Rakesh Vanamali said...

Very well composed! Brilliant!

Lakshmi said...

This is beautiful.. I cud relate to most of it... I ve been there too @ one point of my life...sumthin similar.. a very desperate state..
Loved this " When I knew that I am my own enemy and yet I did not have the will power and motivation to fight it"