Something to ruminate..

The picture above is my latest painting using just six basic colours not including black.


If a friend in need is a friend indeed, then technically and logically, I must not believe in friendship. I certainly do believe in God's angels.

Juliana- A real story.

I hated my job and I hated the office. My colourful love for life seemed a tad unclean. I was heftily digging into a shelf of patient notes when I overheard a conversation between two people discussing GOD, specifically Jesus Christ. My neurons upstairs threw up stoically. Distressed and moaning, I cursed them for being another couple of morons setting up more examples of talk to convince-show not in doing lifestyle
Three days into my job, on that fine day, I realised that in a hurried morning I had left behind my mobile phone and wallet at home. Very often in the media we come across images of hunger struck human beings specially children, all malnourished and bony and on the edge of their lives. I had hardly ever before imagined how it would feel to not have a meal to eat. I had skipped breakfast that morning and was not carrying my mobile phone too, which added hunger and loneliness in the city of London.
On that cold afternoon at Russell Square, I walked not knowing how to overcome hunger. I had all the money in the world that I need, yet not a morsel to feed myself. This predicament made me aware of an aspect of life largely not thought of. My hungry heart went out to the impoverished and malnourished.
Stirring up my brains for ideas, I walked up to SOAS (School of Oriental and Asian studies) to get food at the ISHKON devotees who I heard give away food for anyone who wants to eat. To my dismay, they were missing since I was probably a wee bit too early for lunch at 12:30. Then I strode towards ULU where a pretty face supposedly gives koffee to thirsty souls at Koinonia, a student outreach program of a Christian group. As it has always been, she wasn’t there.
Heavy hearted sigh. I walked back to my office, a good 700 metres of meandering mind and a hungered body. As a last resort, I had to borrow. I had a friend in office. Adrian. [Good Morning- Bye- see you tomorrow] kind of friend. He was not there too.
Enter. JULIANA. The protagonist of this story. A stranger. Oh wait. She owes me something. My curses. I had given it to her the previous day for her conversation about GOD. A mouthful. De Facto Plenty, sufficient to keep me warm for the rest of the evening. With my AAIDU acquired crocodile skin, I approached for some money. 5 pounds maybe. She warily gave me 2P+2P+50p+20p+20p+10p not bothering to even acknowledge my three thankus. I happily ran out of the office and picked up some food and ate heartful. I then promptly returned to work and went home at 5 PM. All through this failed to realise someone watching me carefully, my darting about in the office and eating like never before.
I came to office next day, guarded with my wallet and loads of confidence. During my lunch break I went out to the money machine, took money for myself, brought lunch and a galaxy chocolate bar for JULIANA as a token of appreciation and came back to office. I went up to Juliana and give her the cash and the chocolate. She promptly told in her African big momma accent that she doesn’t need the money back. I persist saying that I will be eternally thankful for her help, but she need not refuse to take it back. But the African steadfastness came to the fore and she told that she appreciates the chocolate and would take that, but pleaded the other way with the money. She said, “You are younger and I can buy you lunch. Please”. Then she gave me a hug. Although not the one to be emotional in public, I had to fight hard to keep my eyes dry, that moment. I went back to my desk.
An avalanche of impulses were criss-crossing my central nervous system and I realised I had not stopped committing the sin of judging people. I had also temporarily lost hope for a few weeks in humanity and the abundant mercy of God. I have it back now.
Juliana, I still remember you fondly. God bless.
ps:I left that job after a week.

Healing

Didnt I know these pleasures of the world,
Until I scraped myself in you and life,

Myself,involved and rigoured.
Needed never I, the warmth of nature,
Until time revealed life, an ugly unfilled caricature.
When life cracks and castles tumble to dusty shacks,
Good Lady! Step onto these sins, chilling and healing,
Your feet will be washed , divine cleansing and delightful singing,

This embracing breeze shall love you always,
When I and the world are, well far far gone.
And you might want to be here,

looking a cure for life, scrape prone..

Two lives.

The smile, the grace and the breeze
pain of my heart creeps, an extra lease.
Thy existence, adorned, heavenly, with a smile on
Withstands my shout, inside the glass, you go on.
I ain’t seeing a tither of change, your emotions,
your happy resonance and innocent devotions.
Break, swear, rampage and tear the innocent earth
Curse the glass, open my jaws, self anger, I unearth.
Forget my life, lose myself in grief

I like to believe

Breach it was, wholesome, only for a brief.
Deep within I was calm with His embracing daze
Understood I, the unknown,what is,
Closed my eyes, and see the unseen bliss,

Strong people.

Some people in this world are strong. They need no emotions, sentiments and know not what these are. They will be born and will stroll along life so blankly that even the coolest of breezes don’t actually make them smile. I am awestruck when I see such individuals and pity myself for not being one of them. The protagonist described here will achieve whatever he wants and digest any stony event with ease. He will never be flustered for anything good or bad and seem to have absolute control over his life. They have limited memory and have only scope to remember events that are essential for life. He is materialistic and his life has no meaning for any other member of his species or any other entity in this world.

Does anyone think this for me?

"And you learn that you really can endure,you really are strong, you really do have worth,and you learn and you learn.With every goodbye, you learn."- Veronica Shoftshall.

I think every hurt mind gains strength to hurt another weak mind to make both minds stronger. The world is full of strong people. Blah blah.

Jayant J.J.

Primrose Hill

I am going through a writer's block and a human's block at the moment. My life is happily floating across the horizon of an epoch with a novel form of excitement that involves directionsless precision.

Bugged by the inactivity of a typical saturday afternoon, I went on a walk to Primrose hill, a small area within the Regent's park. This visit, my second, was inspired by my recent enlightenment that Primrose hill is voted the most romantic picture of geography in London. I did have a happy time there( sadly ) on both occasions with my romantic dates, who happened to be men (My friends Vamsi and Bhaumik).

I am hereby posting a few pics that I thought came out really well. Please appreciate my pessimistic confusion, clearly suggested by my mixture of the dark shades with the reds and the yellows. bssssssssssssss, But I still see beauty. Check out the flower.

Expanse

Across the world’s expanse,
My thoughts are the midnight’s sea.

Some elements do seep through trance,
Like the expanse between you and me.