Ruminations

To love and be loved is God' s greatest gift to mankind

The paths not taken..

Dear Lord Jesus Christ,
What happened to the paths that I could not take?
Where were they leading and where did they go?
What was in them,
that disappeared in untold folklore?
anticipation and dreams filled the forthcoming yore..
When the hour of the path passed by,
The sweat of labor was flowing high,
I was wishing them to smile, embrace drew nigh
To take me far to an engaging fore,
The material chase with mirages galore,
myopic movement, acrid race,
they all fizzled out in painful haze..

Dear Lord says,
Poor dreamer you are , poorer schemer,
juvenile planner and   unimaginative lover of life..
The paths you took have been bigger, bigger than the dreams,
Green and blue, beautiful,
divine sweeps of fine and full air,
concieved, planned and executed by Myeslf..

Dear Lord Jesus Christ,
Who am I to bother about the paths to take..
Your Holy spirit moves me in my existense..
In all happiness,
I must praise You,
For my blessing of being carefree 

Questions of some differently abled social beings

• Why does having to be a social animal be so difficult for some?
• Why are the odds stacked against some and little or none against their detractors?
• Why do the people who have access to the most vulnerable areas of a human mind often the ones who also like to hit them the hardest ?
• Why don't some people ever learn to guard their vulnerabilities?
• Why don't some people have vulnerabilities?
• Where does justice hide?

Captive lives

Today I went on a walk inside the National Zoological Park in New Delhi with the hope of getting some good images. However mid way through my sojourn, a totally strange and novel sadness took over me. I was feeling low and eventually moved to guilt by my being there this afternoon.

The purpose of a zoo park is to showcase animals and birds in a captive set up. These animals are captured from their natural habitats (significantly different from Delhi in most cases in terms of weather and seasons) and brought down here for millions of people to see (some over many decades) and have a merry time. I was taken aback by this human tendency to be totally apathetic about these animals' existense in captivity as a mere peice of show time items. Their life of freedom in their natural habitats have been messed up with no remorse. I was saddened by the way the animals went about their daily business of life with sad, sagging faces. I was also upset when I saw a white tiger, which I remember seeing as a kid in the 90s; It was alone then, it is still alone. It has aged and looked it. I am not aware how different these animals might be in their natural habitats. Perhaps happier I think?

My rambling here about this might sound funny to many. However I have always seen this blog as a platform to express my heartfelt opinions and hence shall not be any different this time too.

I am deeply motivated to read up about the policies of zoo park management and the philosophy that goes behind it. I am going to identify people who share similar feelings and support this cause of releasing these animals.

Ruminations: sometimes, somewhere.

I am cos' He is

Ruminations: sometime, somewhere

We must dream beautiful.God carries out stringent quality control before he turns our dreamy canvases into REALITY

This post is dedicated to my friend AS and her lovely venture, www.hummingwords.in

Yet another sleepless night!

- When the world seemed too hard to conquer and there was nothing left for me.
- When I knew that I am my own enemy and yet I did not have the will power and motivation to fight it.
- When I realised the enormity of my mind and its capitulations and yet looked helplessly at the time that passed by.
- When I had an awestruck expression on my face at life’s endless questions and challenges: simple yet ambiguous, small yet compound.
- When I felt like I am my own and the whole world, seen and unseen, was conspiring to see my back.
- When some of the dark, unwelcome clouds refuse to cease shrouding me and pass by me leaving me clothed in cold despair.
- When my actions mocked at my dreams and the rest of the world only cared to enjoy this humiliation and disgrace.
- When I did not remember my self, I lost my mind including the talents associated therewith and the whole world accepted my distorted self as my self.
- When mediocre mortals had to stoop down to decide the way I was and I had learnt to accept them as life’s lessons.
- When I knew that I could trust God yet had self doubt and overpowering fear.
- When I harboured the pain of hosting the Big fight between God and Satan within my body and mind.
- When I felt helpless although I knew that my duty at that situation was to take God’s wonderful side, remember his promise and rest in peace.

PS: This will pass too.

The voice, The questions.

Picture: Neda Agha-Soltan

“If the earth were a single state, Constantinople would be its capital”- Napoleon Bonaparte.

“If I were to depict all the earth’s womanhood, Nazia would be my model”- Ahmed Rahman.

Ahmed Rahman wrote this in his diary before he went to bed that night.

It had been a great day for this 37 year old photojournalist from Tehran who was in Istanbul on work compiling a project that compares the architectural similarities between Tehran and Istanbul in a historical perspective. He had previously worked on more adventurous projects for Lemar TV in Iran covering the war in Afghanistan and travelling to other countries in conflict including Iraq, Israel and Palestine. The Istanbul project was like a paid holiday for him as architecture had always been his second love after journalism. He was also thanking his stars that day for bringing him to meet Nazia.

His priorities in life and his order of commitment fell like a pack of cards when he first laid his eyes on her. He had met many girls in his life over different phases and with different tastes, but none had captivated him the way Nazia did. Nazia Sajjid was touring Istanbul with a contingent of Iranian tourists. Most of them were fellow students of Islamic philosophy with her at Azad University in Tehran.

After the initial introduction at the lounge of hotel Larespank, they chatted on common interests. The well travelled man that Ahmed was, he managed to capture the imagination of a well read, dreamy and forward thinking Nazia. Her every unanswered hypothesis in Islamic philosophy had a definite explanation supported with real life examples from around the world from Ahmed who was a devout Muslim following the same school of belief as Nazia’s. It was sheer coincidence that they both went to the Community High School on Kucheh Marizkhaneh near Jaleh Street but with a 10 year gap between them. This brought them closer and they opened up with each other in individually unprecedented ways.

Nazia’s imbecility in expressing her mind was somehow seemingly fulfilled by Ahmed’s expertise with his camera. His photojournalism had dazzled Nazia off her feet and his widespread experience in war zones kept her glued to his speeches. His narrations of real life stories from the war zone moved Nazia and brought out her well ruminated questions on life and human existence.

Nazia's good heart brought her a tendency for protection, care and creation. She filled the void that Ahmed thought was ubiquitous in the world: the apathy, the difference to respect for humanity, greed and selfishness. She was empathetic and perspicacious with Ahmed and amidst the rugged desert that this world was for Ahmed, he felt like having found an oasis.

Before they had realised, the magic of the Byzantium made them to fall in love. The musically trained serene voice of Nazia had tied Ahmed in a million knots as they walked the streets of Istanbul. She was singing and he was showing off his Motrebi style dancing.

Nazia had many questions for Ahmed which she repeatedly put forward to Ahmed.

- Why does man have to thrive by not letting another one thrive?

- Why does man have to live by not letting another one to live?

Two months later: Tehran:

She telephoned him before going out to protest against a suspicious national election result. She was largely apolitical, but realised her responsibility with a few million other Iranians who also suspected foul play. She told Ahmed one more time how she cannot wait to get married to him.

After sharing romantic vibrations and feeling the love over the phone, Nazia told Ahmed, “Good Bye, I am leaving now, I love you.”

Later in the day a Basij sniper shot Nazia on her chest with a sole aim of sensationalising the protest rally and gathering International attention. As she lay down in a pool of blood, a doctor who was a passerby calmed others down and tried emergency life support procedures. She died within three minutes. Her last words were “I am burning, I am burning”.

Little does anyone know what she meant with those final words: Was it just an expression of the physical pain that she underwent or was it a summation of her quest in life and her surprise at the discovery of her own life’s end?

PS: The death of another young girl called Neda Agha-Soltan on the streets of Tehran in a similar set up has been captured in video and is available on youtube.

PPS: Why does man have to thrive by not letting another one to thrive?

PPS : Why does a man have to live by not letting another one to live?

What is ?

What is

In the praising of the Lord?In the green of the summer breeze?
In the cracking of the autumn leaves?
In the people who acknowledge the purity of the moon?
In the man who stops to see the sunset?
In the woman who rises to see the sunrise?
In the unspoken words with your beloved?
In the unconditional presence of your family?
In the telephonic voices that moves you to tears?

In the magical smell that motherly love adds to cooking?

In the encouragement from your father?In the strength of your mother?
In the wisdom of your grandfather?
In the chiding from your grandmother?
In the maturity of your sister?
In the pat on the back from your brother?
In the happiness when you think about family?
In the gloom that you are in when a friend is sad?
In the tears that roll down when your dreams are realized?
In the miracles of belief, determination and strength?
In the unexplained acts of magnanimity?
In the glorification of creation?
In the fullness of life, the way God wanted it to be?

Yes. It is LOVE. To every single human being..

Love is

• In the praising of the Gifts of the Lord,
• In the green of the spring breeze,
• In the cracking of the autumn leaves,
• In the people acknowledging the purity of the moon,
• In the man that tops to see the sunset,
• In the woman that rises to see the sunrise,
• In the unspoken words with beloved,
• In the unconditional presence of a family,
• In the telephonic voices that moves you to tears,
• In the magical smell that motherly love adds to cooking,
• In the encouragement of a father and strength of a mother,
• In the wisdom of a grandfather, chiding from a grandmother,
• In the maturity of a sister, the support from a brother
• In the happiness when you think about your family,
• In the hope that when the gloom that grips you when a friend is sad,
• In the tears that roll down during the national anthem,
• In the miracles of belief, determination and strength,
• In the unexplained acts of magnanimity,
• In the glorification of creation,
• In the fullness of life, the way God wanted it to be.

Lets pray and strive for Global peace.

Jayant Judilson.

Ruminations: Sometime, Somewhere.

Do not mess with the righteous!

Do not harass the helpless!

They are guarded by God,

The ultimate guard.

Ruminations: Sometime, Somewhere.

Is Violence Justified?

If sparing the rod means spoiling the son..

where do we draw the line?

How much is enough?

Flying away!

The angel flew away into the clouds,

The pain in my heart seeps,

abundant emptiness shrouds,earth leaps

I close my eyes and float in the ocean,

An ocean of memories , of a life, moments unlived, unseen

dreamt in heaven, sincerety, emotional elan.


Did I hear that time flies?

My time has been maimed with lies.

I didnt ask you to adorn my life,

Nor could I promise to adorn yours,

My thoughts cramped self,

T'was a request for an expression to praise and marvel,

One that fixed me, taxing in emotional upheaval.


Lost in clouds, are you?

I see you , each moment, rich and anew,

Shant I open my eyes, leave one bit of you nice,

Dreading to let go the pain of you,

curbing strength's rise, seeing darkness as your disguise.

The abstract scientist turned 24 on 1st May.

One of my best friends Vivek Khare sent me these pictures from Ambala, on the auspicious day. These are supposedly his gifts.

Thanks dude for the wonderful presents. They are the only ones I got this year.

It is special.

Ruminations: Sometime, Somewhere...

I am not a natural introvert. I have been forced by my existense to exercise extreme caution against VANITY

The eagle.

I am like the eagle,
That flies high.
Up above the clouds array,
I sometime stoop low to my roots for prey,
To quench my desire and many other evil,
Like I should be, always, like an eagle.

Oh God, my maker and guardian!
Give me strength and carry me on,
Horizon after horizon in your glory shall I fly on.
Let me keep flying high and not low for prey,
So that in front of nothing other than you, I pray
Shall I bow on my way.

Jayant Judilson.

Ruminations: Sometime, Somewhere

Human Beings are almost like dogs except that dogs are FAITHFUL.

Spirituality.

India has been often plagued by violence among people that is caused by sensitive religious belief of individuals. Every man feels an emotional uproar when the call for war comes to defend his religion and its followers. I have myself felt this surge of emotions many times ‘helplessly’.

The current global scenario of wars is also attributed to the emotions that man attaches to religion. This human weakness is being harnessed by the astute leaders of men to shepherd the world into a way that meets their own instinctive needs. Little do the majority of the men in the world know that the war that they are waging on a mighty enemy is dampening the soil beneath them and is crippling their future. They are innocently blinded and this is occurring because the leaders of men are good at hiding the truth from their flock and guiding them through realms of heavenly fantasies that are really tensile bubbles of uncertainty in hell. They must wake up and demand their right for a fulsome life.

A fulsome life is a gift of God. It is the birth right of every individual in the world cutting across all barriers of continental, racial, economic, mental, health and religious status. I think the solution to all these problems lies in religion itself.

In simple terms, religion must teach us the way to lead our lives in all fullness, bliss and prosperity. For these objectives, religion must be pursued and taught to the highest possible standards and the most rightful manner. Human beings must humble themselves in the pursuit of religious wisdom and seek divine interference for understanding. This experience of complete surrender to the higher power (termed spirituality) will help refining the individual and coalesce him into the causal factors of a fulsome earthly life. Spirituality will lead us to a life in fullness, bliss and prosperity.

There is a gentleman called Dr. APJ Kalam, who will agree with my views on an idea for a better livelihood in India. In his book, “Ignited minds-unleashing the power within India”, he has explained the concept subtly in various parts for various situations. Here are a couple of excerpts from the book where he cites examples when spiritual people have showed the way to a fulsome life.

Excerpt 1: An example of Giving.
“In 1962, Dr. Sarabhai and Dr. Bhabha were looking for a site to establish the space research station in the equatorial region. Thumba in Kerala was found most suitable as it was near the equatorial region and was ideally suited for ionospheric research. The locality was however inhabited by thousands of fishermen living in the villages there. It also had a beautiful church called St. Mary Magdalene church and the Bishop’s house. As such the acquisition of the land did not move any further.

Dr. Sarabhai met the bishop, His Excellency Rev. Dr. Peter Bernard Pereira on a Saturday and requested transfer of property. The bishop smiled and asked him to meet him the next day. In the Sunday morning service the bishop told the congregation, ‘My children, I have a famous scientist with me who wants our church and the place that I live for space science and research. Science seeks truth that enriches life. The higher level of religion is spirituality. The spiritual leaders seek the help of the almighty to bring peace to human minds. In short what Vikram is doing and what I am doing are the same- Both science and spirituality seeks Almighty’s blessings for human prosperity in mind and body. Children can we give them god’s abode for a scientific mission? There was silence for a while followed by a hearty ‘Amen’ from the congregation which made the whole church reverberate.”

Excerpt 2: An example of companionship.
“News reached me that a Maulvi of a very famous 300 year old mosque was waiting in the mutt to take me to the mosque. The swamiji suggested that I visit the mosque.At this instance I remembered an incident in Paramacharya’s time, a decade ago, as told by the former president, R. Venkatraman. Mr. Venkatraman showed me the mosque very close to the Kanchi mutt. A few years ago, the mosque jayamath and the district authorities decided to relocate the mosque to some other suitable place as its present location was inconvenient both for the mutt and mosque. As a large number of people visit the historic mosque and there are huge gatherings at the mutt too, the traffic was becoming increasingly difficult to manage. The mutt would rebuild the mosque in its new location. Somehow this message reached the Paramacharya. He vehemently opposed the whole idea. He said, ‘In fact at 4:30 am, the call for namaz comes from the mosque, it acts as a wake up call for my divine duties.’ And also for many other reasons he was opposed to the relocation of the mosque. He made it clear to both the district authorities and the mutt. The Paramacharya went into mouna viradham-deep silence. Finally shifting of the mosque was stopped.”

These examples do suggest that people from different religions can coexist in their pursuit for a fulsome life. Spirituality is the answer. Religious texts should be read thoroughly by every individual after seeking divine help for understanding through prayers.

I have decided to read my religious text, The Bible. I will read it over and over again praying to God that every time I do, I can get better in my understanding of my life and its role in this world.

The curious case of me!!

Someone recently commented that my behaviour and mannerisms resembles that of an old man. I began to wonder about the traits that possibly were responsible for that stranger to have such an impression of me. In this ‘world’ that pisses me with its ever changing fashion trends, void-filled friendships, fast track romances and monetary reasons for existence, I would presume, it shouldn’t surprise me if anyone finds me a stand out specimen. Then again, why me? I am not happy that the person felt such. It shouldn’t have been like that. I must change myself; mould myself to the world of today.

What is wrong with me? Have I started assuming that I come from another era? How about “The curious case of JAYANT JUDILSON”? I googled to find out what possibly can be the required changes to bring in a more dashing and interesting personality.

Then I realised that I mustn’t bother. If someone thinks anything about me, and specifically, if anyone feels or thinks ill about me, the picture above this blog is all for you. Enjoy!!!

I have a white Ferrari, the Ferrari with a capital F.

Today was a nice day and tomorrow will be better. Which day wasn’t and wouldn’t? I read a book titled, ‘I bought the monk’s Ferrari’’ written by a corporate honcho called Ravi Subramanian. This writer is an IIM-B alumnus and has done well for himself in his banking career. In his attempt to give back voluminously to the world that he cherishes, he has written this book that is parallel yet in some junctures questioning the other famous book on similar lines, ‘The monk who sold his Ferrari’ by Robin Sharma.
To me a Ferrari is a short, wide, powerful car. A red car. I like the sound the most followed by its sleek tiger like rear design. But for the rest of the educated world it means more. It means, panache incarnate, global status symbol, a rich man’s toy, an answer to a mid-life crisis, a proof of piles of stock money and the finest cars in the world. A Ferrari is not a spec sheet of an automobile. It is a dream.
The author eloquently equates Ferrari with an image of the reason of human existence. He describes it as the pinnacle of one’s worldly sojourn which everyone should aspire. It means ultimate happiness, success, contended and uncomplicated life. But the author deftly also manages to remind the readers that his definition of the pinnacle is not necessarily accepted by all and that different people like to take different stances. The corporate player that he is, he equates success with quick pay rises, promotions, perks, international holidays, mansions, private jets and islands, although he claims his teachings can be applied in all fields. He is also quick to dismiss the escapists who say that the Ferrari comes with a price, a heavy one that would not let you pursue alternate interests, high mental an emotional stress, and little or no time for the family. “You have to realise one thing that the Ferrari is not owned by millions. It is only for the crème de la crème. As it is they are fewer in number…even fewer among them own the Ferrari’’. This book professes that only people with Ferraris are happy. He enlists Ten Commandments for attaining the Ferrari which is explained in good detail in the book.
1. To acquire the Ferrari you need to aspire. And when you aspire, do not compromise for anything but the best.
2. Be optimistic, chase the negative thoughts away. A positive frame of mind will surely get you closer to your Ferrari.
3. Do not whine and whimper about ‘work-life’ balance. Be the winner, not the wimp, and the Ferrari will be yours.
4. Set and follow the highest standard of integrity in your personal and professional lives. If you are high on integrity, people will respect and value you. The Ferrari when it comes will stay with you.
5. Value your time and of the others, and be rest assured that the Ferrari will come to you.
6. No one is perfect. The moment you think you are, it is the countdown to doomsday. Earning the Ferrari is all about upgrading yourself, improving your skill sets and equipping yourself for the future. And for this, the initiative has to be yours.
7. Identify the owners of the Ferrari and align yourself with them. If you are in the company of successful people, their success will rub off on you. You need to back it up with stellar performances. If you live in Ferrari town, chances are, you will get to drive one sooner.
8. Share your success with others. If you commit to uplift the downtrodden you will become the true owner of the Ferrari.
9. Remain in perfect shape and fighting fit. No one will entrust you with a Ferrari if you cannot drive it.
10. If you have followed all the commandments with dedication and determination, it is the time to build up a profile for yourself. Target your audience and announce your achievements. You will own the Ferrari in no time.
After the Ten Commandments, the author escalates our imaginations further when he reveals the FERRARI.
Fortune for Every Right Rigorous And Resourceful person.
I beg to differ with this concept. I do not agree with the fact that only winners are happy. I do not believe fortune brings happiness. I do not also believe that all right, rigorous and resourceful people will have fortune.
If there is a competition, there can be one winner-The whole world is competing for fortune- Does that mean only the richest person in the world is happy?
I think it is at this point where I think Robin Sharma’s book did slightly better. I think the yogi in the book gave a place for non-winners a place to dwell in this biosphere. The yogi teaches the protagonist how worldly achievements should not come on the way to a happy, peaceful and content life.
From a spiritual point of view, I believe that it is the sinful human self that is necessitating the need for such senile books. I think only unconditional love can negate FERRARI. If love is what every organism seeks, then the need for fortune is annihilated.

I wrote a poem a few years ago when I was competing in the Premedical examinations and misfortune didn’t let me achieve what I desired and deserved. I was right, rigorous and resourceful. After that episode, I learnt to live with what I get and be happy and content with it. I wrote a poem during those wonderful days.

Life- the expressway

Life, the expressway
Has something posh near something rickety
Drivers come on, some happy and some sad,
Sad because of their possessions and happy for the same,
Sad because of their consistent breakdowns
And others because of their low speeds in the top gear,
Happy is the man who takes the breakdowns in his stride
And is happy of his steady speed.
Sad is the man who changes shades looking at attractive fellow drivers,
But happy is the man who sticks to a single shade, loyal to his conscience
Life the expressway is with too many so called unwanted round-a-bouts and red lights
Happy is the man, who follows traffic lights and sad is the one to whom fine follows for breaking rules,
Happy is the man who learns from the past and is smart
Sad is the man who is full of confidence and is over smart
Above all,
Life is an endless expressway where anybody and everybody are everybody and anybody.

I have a Ferrari with a capital F because I realised Microsoft word processes Ferrari with a capital F. My Ferrari is uncharacteristically white, because I prefer zero entropy.