Ruksana Part III - The Shattered Dreams

"This is the continuation of the extract from the memoirs of a 9 year old boy called Jay. This story is about childhood innocence, child labour, God, miracles,and affection/love. This part is about how the 9 year old boy discovers the difference between his dream world and the real one. It can be best enjoyed if the many parts are read in proper sequence"

I like and dislike the rain. They bring good smell and sometimes schools got closed due to rain, so we can enjoy at home. I hate rains in the night as there is a power cut immediately and the thunder shakes the glass windows. I cannot sleep when it rains because of the sound. Amma told that lightning killed somebody who was outside their house when it rained because lightning is like electric shock. As it rained outside I lay awake and tried hard to sleep. I then went hugged my amma and went to bed again. I then thought of Ruksana. I wondered whom she would hug if she did not fall asleep. I wondered if she was scared of thunders. I felt sad about her.

In our house, we have ventilators for air to come in. They are near the ceiling and big enough for my hand to pass through. Sometimes in the night when I cannot sleep. I lay awake in my bed listening to sounds and thinking something. I can hear my family members snoring and my paaty (Granny) coughing. I sometimes hear the mosquitoes singing during rainy season, otherwise there are more than hundred other insects that make sound outside in the night. I think one of these sounds could be of a snake.

I guess that thieves will be dressed like the clowns that come with the Santa Claus during Christmas season. I think thieves will also be roaming around the house in the night and one day they will come and poke their face in the ventilator and scare me. They may also bring long bamboo sticks, poke it through the ventilator and touch me. My cousin from Delhi is a liar and she says that there are no ventilators in her house.


To avoid seeing the ventilator I close my eyes and turn my face to the other side of the bedroom. I then think about good things in life which I think is called dreaming.

I dream about good things. I dream of many situations that made Ruksana happy. When Ruksana was happy, I was happy.



I wish she could come and play with me. I wish she could come to school with me. I wish she could come and play with my brother. I wish she could do her homework with me. I wished my amma would give payasam (Kheer) to her. I wish we can go shopping together, cross roads and go shopping in the main market. I wish I can buy her lots of lacto kings. I wish I can dance with her like Rajni and Khushboo. I wish I can fight against rowdies who mess with Ruksana, just like Rajni.

Last Friday, appa came home in the evening with burotta and erachi(chicken) from Three star my favourite restaurant. As we were eating it I was sweating from the head as the erachi was hot and tasty. Appa told us that we are shifting to another house, bigger, better and closer to his office. I jumped at excitement at the thought of going in a truck as dad said we will move our things in a truck. I have never travelled in a truck before and I want to do that. That news made the erachi taste much better.

After some time I remembered Ruksana. I felt sad. I realised that I will not be able to see her anymore. My head was aching and I wanted to run away into the toilet where no one can see me. I wanted to cry and so I cried. I felt very very sad.

I assumed that I am in love with Ruksana. I now understood many love stories that I read earlier without understanding them.



My love with Ruksana will end. I will not be able to see her again. I will not be able to be her friend. I will not be able to give her chocolates. I will not be able to see her again. I will not be able to show her my winning races in bike, car, van and bus. I will not be able to see her again. I will not be able to gift her new clothes. I will not be able to see her again.

Later in the night I vomited. Amma said it was indigestion. I was crying. Amma gave me gelusil and I went to sleep.

To be continued